Recently I was asked if I knew of any books about the or role of ADHD in spirituality. Cue a somewhat predictable hyperfocus. I was already fairly certain that there was nothing published. A quick Google search confirmed my suspicions. There has been little written about neurodivergence and spirituality and the books that do exist have focused primarily on Autism.
Sadly, many of the top search results for ADHD and Spirituality come back with titles like “Spiritual Cures for ADHD”, “Spiritual causes and roots of ADHD”. It seems obvious that for many Churches ADHD is a problem, something that needs to be cured or at best managed and mitigated against. It probably doesn’t help that most of these articles (and indeed most writing about ADHD is about ADHD in children rather than in adults.
So here are some personal thoughts about ADHD and spirituality, mainly stemming from my own experience as well as conversations I have had with others.
ADHD sometimes makes “church” difficult. Sitting still and quietly can be a challenge, especially on a Sunday morning. For some reason it gets even harder if we have been told that there will be a minute’s silence. That said, there are plenty of other occasions when I have gone for walk and sat by the coast without noticing the time. More recently I found myself sat in St Mary’s on Holy Island as I was in the process of candidating for ministry. I would normally say I have a difficult relationship with church buildings, and the degree of importance we assign to them. However, on this occasion I found myself realising that three hours had passed, during which time I had not spoken to anyone and had not moved … not even to look at my phone. There was a tangible sense of being in God’s presence in a way which I am not fully able to describe.
Of course, this assumes a very particular construction and understanding of spirituality and spiritual practices, that is easier and more accessible for people who are neurotypical. The dictionary definition of Spirituality is “the quality or condition of being spiritual.” Overtime this has come to have a broad range of meanings ranging from religious devotion to subjective experiences of a deeper connection to self, others, or the universe. For many spirituality seems to have become almost inseparable from particular patterns of prayer and worship and the appropriate ways of conducting oneself when engaged in those contexts. Sadly, many of us who are neurodivergent struggle to fit into this definition of spirituality which has seemingly led to an understanding that neurodivergence, and specifically ADHD, are barriers to spirituality.
In contrast to this I would (and do) argue that many people (including myself) have a very strong sense of spiritualty. I encounter God in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways including in my restless fidgeting and rushing thoughts. Of course, this fidgeting and restlessness makes it even more obvious when I do encounter God in the quiet and stillness. Yet I also encounter God when I am gaming, watching a film, having a conversation with a friend or a stranger. If I try really hard, I might find an area of my life, where I have not, at some point, encountered God.
However, I do find it ironic that I most often have that encounter when I am not looking for it and not expecting it. I wonder if that is in part because those times when I am, when I’m at church on a Sunday morning or at a prayer group in the evening, I am often so concerned about acting in the right way, sitting and paying attention, not being distracted by the light through the window, chasing that random thought that popped into my head, making sure I sit and stand in the right places. When all that becomes the focus, is it any wonder that I maybe don’t even notice when God sits beside me.
As I have begun the journey (and ordeal) of unmasking, as I am able to bring more of myself into church, I am starting to rediscover God in those places. I have decided to unmask whether other people like it or not. But not everyone can make that choice and not everyone feels safe doing so. It is more than a little scary. I can’t tell you how much I long for the day when the church truly becomes a safe space to unmask and to discover (or rediscover) new forms of spirituality. But I do hope that as we follow the example and teachings of Jesus, that it will become a reality.
I especially love "When all that becomes the focus, is it any wonder that I maybe don’t even notice when God sits beside me." I bet many people are more focused on fitting in than on why they are (presumably) at church. I've never had a spiritual experience in a church. Not once. The closest was at a Quaker meeting. But on tops of mountains, and out to sea, in my garden, on horseback, in a classroom while teaching, at home listening to music, pretty much everywhere else, absolutely. What does that say about Sunday worship?